adoption thoughts

A friend of mine asked me to do a write-up about our experiences with adoption since this is National Adoption Month. I procrastinated for several weeks... then finally made myself sit down and just do it. I am (am I'm sure most writers are) my own worst critic and after an hour of writing, erasing, writing, editing, shifting sentences around, etc. etc., I called it a day. Here is what I wrote.

A few things I have learned since we adopted our daughter: 

Being pro-life is more than just a political statement or a theological belief; sometimes it requires you to actually do something. 

The world of adoption is fraught with beauty and with heartache. Adoption by its very existence begins with brokenness and loss, and although adoption is beautiful and needed, it does not “fix” the brokenness. It is necessary, but make no mistake— it is hard. 

Trans-racial adoption has made me look hard at race issues in our country. It’s made me a more outspoken advocate for racial equality, justice and awareness. Speaking up makes people uncomfortable, but keeping quiet helps enable the problems to exist unchecked. I’d like to think I would have been an advocate anyway— but to be honest, I likely would never have faced these issues if not for adoption. 

Adoption has made me have to face the realities of “have” and “have not” in our society and the world. When my beautiful, smart daughter looks me in the eyes and wants to know why her birth mom couldn’t keep her, or when she cries at night, missing her real mom, I am broken. Because what answers can I give, that would even make sense? The brokenness goes deep, and it makes me want to do more.

Adoption has brought us light and laughter and joy. It has given our family a beloved sister and daughter, granddaughter and niece, cousin and friend. (The weight and beauty and depth of that is difficult to wrap my head around, let alone express in words.) Our daughter is so loved, by so many. She fills holes in our lives that we didn’t even know were there!

Adoption has given me an unimaginable gift in my spunky, adorable daughter. I am lucky in every way to call her mine. She is a fighter, and has overcome unimaginable odds in her young life, and does so with all the spice and grit in the world. She reminds me every day that hard things are worth fighting for, and that beauty can and does rise from the ashes.

I am so thankful that we said yes to adoption. It has rocked my entire life and has given me a window into a world that I never would have known about. It has opened my eyes to many things that have changed me forever. I would gladly face every hard thing a dozen times over for the privilege of getting to be her forever mama.


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